This IS my Destiny
by Fangirl Jessums
Summary: Something happens to Logan and Rogue breaksdown. (I don't know, it didn't seem very angst-y when I reread it, so email me in the link in the fic with comments please!)


I was reading "17 Years and 58 Seconds" by StephD...I realized I wasn't writing too much angst so I tried my hand at it. Email me at [cordynxander4e@yahoo.com][1] if you have a Q/C. Also I know some parts aren't Rogue-ish, but (1) Logan's in her head and (2) think about her predicament.  
(Abbre.  
MIA= Missing In Action)  


This **Is** My Destiny   
"Destiny is not a matter of chance;  
it is a matter of choice.   
It is not a thing to be waited for   
but a thing to be achieved."--William Jennings Bryant  


  
No way. They were lying. A man with steel claws and and an advanced healing factor doesn't die. They all know that there is a chance he's just lost or mutant-napped. And I kept telling myself that. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here. How would you react if someone just told you your best friend was MIA and thought to be dead. Just because his apartment was left untouched doesn't mean a thing. My room was when I left town. I cry too much now. Not when anyone's around, though. Late at night. If Logan's really d---gone, I guess that makes my Scooby Doo stuffed animal my best friend.   
  
They tell me to reminsce when I miss him. Reminsce my ass. It'll make me hurt more. To think that the man who saved me is dead. I thought my destiny was to grow old with him. Or not, considering he really can't. I'll be in the nuthouse soon, probably. I walked downstairs last night, hearing a noise in the kitchen and I practically ran down there. Guess what I found. Nothing. Bobby eating leftover KFC. He looked up at me and when I looked into his eyes I remembered about the date we had tomorrow. It was a pity-date, nothing real. A "We're just friends but I don't want you to be sad" date. I accepted only because it would get me out of the 'institute'. I left Bobby to his chicken-eating and went out to the pond. I looked down into the river and saw my reflection. Puffy eyes, messy hair, red nose. Then I saw them. The tags. He would never be back for them. DAMMIT! I said I wasn't going to give in.  
  
I looked down again and saw them once more. My knees went weak and I fell to the ground. Then I blacked out. I woke up a day later to hear the news. Logan's body was found in a plane wreck. We all knew who did it-Magneto. The only person who could trap Logan in there long enough for his healing factor to fail. I didn't crash and burn yet though. Not in front of Ororo, Jean, Scott, and the Professor.   
  
Long story short I got to the hall outside the med room before I screamed like a banshee and fell to the ground in tears. Jean came and helped me up but I kicked until the got away. Then I ran. As fast as a 18 year old can. I found a dark corner and sat there. I blocked out the Professor as best as I could until I had a plan. Unfortunately the only plans I had were drowning, hanging, slitting my wrists, and slitting my throat. I silently crawled to my room and looked around, thinking. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and slid under my bed and started to write.  
  
'Dear Professor Xavier, Mr. Summers, Ms. Grey, Jubes, Kitty, John, Bobby, and Ms. Munroe,  
Thank you for all your help over the past year and a half. You've helped me realize that there are others like me that suffer the same. But now the pain has become to great for me. Unfortunately suicide is the only way out for me. I lost my best friend and I don't know how to go on. No one should miss me too much ; Bobby, John, Kitty, and Jubes at the most. Tell Bobby I'm sorry I missed our date.'  
"Tell Kitty I only read her diary once and it was for a good cause. Tell Jubilee that I hope she likes her birthday present because I can't return it. It's under my bed. Tell John that the fire thing was pretty cool on my first day here. Mr. Summers, Ms. Grey, I'm sorry that I failed you. I hope you guys get married soon and if you do, I'll be watching. Ms. Munroe, I'll never forget our brownie binge on prom night. Or the way we drank only water for 3 months so we would lose the tiny pounds of extra weight. Prof, Thank you for taking me in when I needed it. I'll see you all someday, and Kit Kat, Jubes, don't cry, ok? I Love ya like sisters (You too 'Ro, Jean!!)!!! And remember---This is my destiny." Jubilee finished, tears running down her face as she read the note aloud to the eight people. All the girls had tear-streaked faces and Bobby too. I didn't know he really cared until I got up here.   
  
They lied to me. I knew it. He isn't up here. I've asked. They say he's in Northern Canada still. I feel betrayed. This is my destiny. The life I led was short, but good. This is the life I was put on earth to live. And I don't feel upset. They'll join me up here someday. And remember my skin? That's no longer a problem. Mutation-free. I'd stay and talk more but I'm fading more. 

   [1]: mailto:CordynXander4e@yahoo.com



End file.
